"But I Had A Happy Childhood..."
I was recently working with a client who resisted inner child work because, in his words, “I had a happy childhood.” Every time we approached his younger self, the inner child showed up smiling, playful, and unwilling to engage on the topic of the day.
Once I was chatting with this client before the session began, and I suggested his struggles in relationships might be tied to something from his childhood.
He shook his head and said: “No, my parents loved me.”
That moment revealed something profound, and it can be a huge block.
And of course, it’s true.
His parents loved him. Maybe your parents loved you, too.
Perhaps they did the best they could, and maybe today, you have a wonderful relationship with the.
And yet, here’s what most people could miss: love and limitation can co-exist.
The child brain doesn’t interpret life events through the same lens of logic and context that we as adults do. As children, we are meaning-making machines. We store every experience as evidence of “what love means” or “what I need to do to be safe and cared for.”
For example:
If a parent was sick often, and you had to be extra quiet and overly responsible, your child brain might decide: “To be loved, I must silence myself and not have needs.”
If your parents were stressed or working frequently or absent on trips, you may have unconsciously concluded: “Love comes when I’m achieving something or being useful.”
The reality is that your parents may have been doing their absolute best. And yet, your child brain still created a story, and that story may still be shaping your adult relationships, career, and self-expression.
This is also why I believe soundbites about healing, whether it’s a quote on social media or even one of my short videos, can never tell the whole story.
Healing is nuanced.
You can love your parents, you can have gratitude for your upbringing, and you can still recognize where your younger self made choices or adaptations that no longer serve you today.
Healing isn’t about vilifying anyone. The goal isn’t about proving your childhood was “bad” or that your parents didn’t care.
It’s about recognizing that even within love, there were limitations. And that some of those limitations became the blueprint for how you show up in the world.
The real work is not in blaming the past. It’s in reclaiming your present and future.
So if you’ve ever told yourself, “I had a happy childhood, so this doesn’t apply to me,” simply pause for a moment. You can ask yourself instead:
What did my child brain believe about love?
What unspoken rules did I adopt to feel safe or accepted?
Are those rules helping me now, or holding me back?
When you can answer those questions honestly, you open the door to a deeper kind of healing. One that honors the love you received, and frees you to expand into the person you’re truly meant to be.
If you’d like to explore this topic in depth, you can order a personalized hypnotic audio, delivered in 5-7 days.
If you are a member of the Lucid Hour, you might enjoy the following hypnotic audios related to this topic:
