Safe to Ask, Safe to Receive

There’s a particular kind of shame that hides in the most capable people.

The ones who always show up.
Who make it look easy.
Who rarely, if ever, ask for anything in return.

It’s the shame of needing, of wanting, of being seen as “too much.”

For many of us, this began long before adulthood. Not necessarily through cruelty or neglect, but through quiet circumstances that asked too much of us too soon.

One of my clients once told me about his childhood; his mother had been ill for years, and he become the steady one, the quiet helper, the good son. He learned to read the room, to meet needs before anyone asked, and to never have any needs of his own.

And as an adult, this pattern can look like success on the outside, and it usually includes a steady job and solid boundaries at work, and yet there’s also an invisible wall around his heart.

He could say no, but he couldn’t say what he wanted.

In hypnosis, we explored that space. At first, his subconscious didn’t even know where to begin because asking for something felt like stepping into danger. So we began with play, with curiosity, and with permission to imagine again.

And over time, something softened. What began as a playful exercise turned into rediscovering dreams he had long buried under obligation. He realized that asking wasn’t just about receiving things; it was about allowing life to meet him halfway.

That’s what this work is about.

Because when we stop asking, we stop receiving.

And when we stop receiving, we fall out of rhythm with life itself.

Every breath is a reminder that the inhale is receiving, and the exhale is giving.
Both are necessary.
Both are natural.

When you hold your breath, you hold yourself apart from the flow.

This week at The Lucid Hour, our new hypnotic audio called The Softening explores this very theme: the shame and pride that block receiving, and the safety we can build to ask again.
To breathe again.
To belong again.

Are you ready to join us?